All Night
by Kat Darklighter
Summary: Slashfic set around Edge and Shawn Michaels. Herein lies sex, angst and fluff, oh my.
1. All Night

_"...One of these nights I'm gonna show you what you already know  
There's a feast waiting for you and you've never even gotten a taste  
It's later than you think, and a kiss is a terrible thing to waste..."_

The hotel room was mostly dark, one dim lamp providing just enough light to cast shadows across the bare walls. The blankets had been stripped from the impersonal queen-sized bed, leaving it draped in nothing but the stark white sheets. Clothes were strewn about the floor in careless heaps.

Shawn was lying naked on the bed, stretched out on his back. His arms raised above his head, hands gripping the headboard. He'd been ordered quite firmly to keep them there. He was already sweating in anticipation, and his hefty cock protruded from the nest of sandy colored curls, standing at almost painful attention.

From the side of the bed, Edge regarded him calmly, naked as well. He paced back and forth, a predator stalking his prey, trying to decide exactly what terrible games to play before going in for the kill.

Finally, Edge kneeled on the bed at Shawn's side. Leaning down, he let his tongue emerge, tracing the ridges of Shawn's collarbones, lapping at the pool of wetness that had collected in the center, above his sternum. Shawn tensed slightly when he felt Edge's lips move upward to his neck, nipping and kissing. Edge had once purposely left an extremely noticeable mark on Shawn's neck during one of their lovemaking sessions. Nobody asked where it had come from; knowing full well that Shawn's wife had not flown in for one night to give it to him, no one dared to broach the subject. He thought the make-up people would never forgive him. And he had to fight back the urge to smack away the cocky little smirk that appeared on Edge's face every time he caught sight of the hickey.

He was being a tad bit more gentle this time, though. Kissing and gently licking along the side of Shawn's neck, tongue pausing to play with his earlobe. Shawn breathed slow and deep, enjoying every new sensation that the other man sent through his body.

With his lips against Shawn's throat, Edge felt more than heard the deep rumble as Shawn spoke. Raising his head and brushing the hair away from his face, Edge looked down at his lover, eyes dark with lust.

"What'd you say?" he inquired, voice husky with arousal.

Shawn watched Edge's eyes, not repeating his words. He closed his own eyes and swallowed hard, as if trying to gather the courage to voice the request again. Edge's brows knitted and he resisted the strange urge to brush his fingertips down Shawn's cheek.

"I said," Shawn forced out, eyes still tightly shut. "I said, 'kiss me.'"

Edge paused at that, studying Shawn's face. They'd been experimenting with one another for quite awhile now. Their relationship, if one could call it that, was quite useful for several purposes. They used each other for the obvious release of sexual tension while on the road, fighting loneliness, taking out aggressions on one another. Never had there been talk about feelings or the future, or anything such as that. And there was an unspoken agreement between them that there would be no mouth kissing. That was far too intimate, too serious. It took away the fun and games factor of it all and stuck them in another place entirely.

"Shawn. Open your eyes."

He did so, steeling himself to meet Edge's intense stare. They stayed silent for a moment letting their eyes do the talking.

Edge verbally spoke first, and the apprehension that Shawn saw on his face and in his eyes made his cock even harder. All through this, Edge liked to think he was in control. He'd never shown any nervousness or guilt about any of it. The chance to take apart that wall of control made Shawn's stomach tighten in excitement.

"Are you sure?"

Rather than answering with words, Shawn sat up and caught Edge's lips with his own. Both men gasped at the unfamiliar sensation, heads canting in opposite directions to get closer, lips melding seamlessly. Intent on his goal, Shawn reached up and wound his fingers through the curly locks of Edge's hair, holding him tightly, adding a bit of passion to their otherwise semi-chaste kiss. Edge let Shawn do as he pleased, and made no moves to advance their current position, a fact which Shawn was glad about. He wanted to take his time and enjoy this.

Shawn felt Edge tremble against him when his tongue breached Edge's lips, seeking the scalding heat beyond. The contact seemed to awaken a stronger lust in Edge and his hands moved to Shawn's midsection, fingers splaying across his chest, stomach, and sides. The kiss became more frenzied, their tongues tangling with one another, dueling for dominance as their bodies did in the ring. They both were moaning, the sounds reverberating in each other's mouths, serving to excite them even more.

Making sure the liplock didn't break, Shawn rearranged himself so that he sat upright, leaning against the headboard of the bed. His legs were outstretched in front of him, cock standing straight up in the air. Grabbing Edge by the hips, Shawn jerked him into his lap, making him straddle his thighs. Two sets of hands shot downward, but Edge's got there first. His slender fingers wrapped deftly around both his and Shawn's lengths, pressing them together. Both men quickly took up a rocking motion, rubbing straining erections against each other, the movements assisted by sweat and dribbles of precum.

Shawn sucked softly at Edge's lower lip for a moment before breaking the kiss with a satisfyingly wet smacking sound. As soon as Edge's mouth was free, a torrent of words both articulate and not even close to being so, spilled from his lips.

"Fucking god, Shawn.. that's.. that was.. mmmphh.. fuckin' amazing.. you taste so good.. unngh, yeah.. soo good.."

He firmed his grip on their cocks, rocking harder into Shawn, eliciting a primal groan from them both. When at last Edge couldn't take it anymore, he released them and leaned back on his hands.

"Please," he panted, trying to catch his breath. "Please tell me you've got something in here."

Shawn just smiled, hand reaching out to search the nightstand drawer blindly, until he found what he'd been searching for. Unscrewing the cap from the tube, he looked up at the man straddling him.

"How d'ya want it?"

"Just like this. Like this, so I can kiss you again."

Shawn flushed at Edge's words, all the blood that had been left in his brain immediately evacuating to his cock. Edge sat up again and took the lube, squeezing a healthy amount into his palm. He warmed it quickly in his hands before beginning to spread it over Shawn's aching length. Shawn nearly yelped, arching up into the hand that was wrapped around him. Edge let Shawn fuck his fist for a minute or two, relishing in the sounds that escaped his throat. Finally, Edge moved into position, lowering himself onto Shawn's cock in achingly slow movements. Shawn frequently worried about Edge's preference to take it without any preparation for himself, but he'd learned that Edge liked a little pain with his sex, and there was no point in arguing the issue.

Shawn's fingers were making deep indentations in Edge's hips as Edge worked himself slowly onto the cock below him. All the breath escaped Edge's body when he noticed the expression on his lover's face. Shawn's eyes were half-lidded and unashamedly locked on the sight of his erection disappearing into Edge. His mouth hung ajar, tongue occasionally creeping out to moisten dry lips.

When the head of Shawn's cock brushed Edge's prostate, Edge shook and let go of a load groan. The sound was apparently enough to bring Shawn from his trance, and he blinked, looking upward. Edge didn't have time to question the devilish smirk that spread across Shawn's face, before the grip Shawn had on his hips tightened and Edge was roughly jerked down onto the rest of Shawn's hardness. If Edge wanted pain, Shawn would be just the guy to give it to him.

Shawn clinched his jaw and rammed himself up into Edge, who threw back his head, hair flying in all directions. Not allowing Edge any time to adjust to the intrusion, Shawn continued pounding up into him, hands still glued to his hips so he could pull his body into every rough movement. He grunted as he delivered each thrust, the sounds mingling in the air with Edge's keening sobs of combined pleasure and pain.

Leaning his head forward, Shawn brutally attacked Edge's throat, sucking and biting. With revenge in the back of his mind, he chose a particularly delectable spot on Edge's neck, planting his lips there and sucking for all he was worth, more than enough to leave behind a respectable love bite. Edge hissed and Shawn was sure he'd be scolded for his retaliation, but the only word that left Edge's mouth was a breathless "harder." Shawn readily complied, using his lips and teeth until he wasn't sure if he was tasting sweat or blood.

Edge's hands worked their way through Shawn's hair, pulling his head backward. Demonstrating why he'd chosen this position, he sealed his lips over Shawn's bruisingly. Their mouths opened in unison, tongues dancing, bodies still keeping true to rhythm.

Shawn eventually pulled from the kiss, leaning his head back against the wall and letting his deep groans openly fall from his mouth. His hands moved down to Edge's thighs, squeezing the hard flesh there. Seeing every gorgeously defined muscle in Shawn's body tremble and flex, Edge knew he was on the verge of climax. Letting Shawn continue to guide his movements, he reached back and lightly ran his fingers along the underside of Shawn's balls. The unexpected contact sent a jolt of electricity through Shawn's nerves and he screamed his release, body jerking violently as he emptied himself inside his lover, orgasm crashing over him in waves.

When Shawn's orgasm had subsided, Edge let Shawn slip out of him and simply held still, giving his exhausted partner a moment to come down. Though, to make sure he wasn't overlooked, he wrapped his hand around his own still hard cock, giving slow strokes. Shawn opened his eyes and smiled at the scene that greeted him.

As soon as he was able to muster the energy, Shawn batted Edge's hand aside and replaced it with his own, moving it steadily over Edge's cock. Leaning forward, Edge rested his forehead on Shawn's shoulder, his ragged breath hot against Shawn's already overheated skin.

Edge's hips started moving in tandem with Shawn's stroking hand, and the pace soon became quick, desperate movements. Edge lifted his head, whispering a breathless request into Shawn's ear.

"I wanna hear you. Talk to me, Shawn. Talk to me."

Shawn chuckled lowly at the almost begging words, complying easily. He pressed his lips against the sensitive shell of Edge's ear, the contact enough to make Edge squirm and move a little harder into Shawn's hand.

"You sure you want me to talk to you? 'Cause if I do, y'know I'm gonna tell you what a filthy little whore you are. Such a slut for me. Screaming as I fuck you silly. Begging for it harder. You should see yourself, bouncing up and down on me.. you look so fucking amazing. I want you to come for me now, Edge. Come all over me, and if you're a good boy and clean up your mess, I might just fuck you all over again."

Edge's breath hitched in his chest and he bit down on Shawn's shoulder. He was all out shaking with anticipation, ramming himself faster and faster into Shawn's ever tightening fist.

Allowing himself a smile, Shawn spoke again with a lowered voice, making sure Edge could feel the vibration of the words against his skin.

"C'mon, I need to feel you. I want you to come for me, Adam. Come for me, now."

It was a combination of the direct order and hearing his real name on Shawn's lips that sent Edge over. Sinking his teeth deeper into Shawn's firm muscle, he came over Shawn's fist and all over both their chests and stomachs. Shawn nearly purred at the feeling of being covered in Edge's seed.

When his body relaxed and he was able to move again, Edge rolled off of Shawn and collapsed beside him on the bed. They didn't touch, didn't speak, and the silence quickly became uncomfortable. Edge was the one to break it, words quiet.

"Give me a second to recover, then I'll be outta your way. I just don't think I could walk at the moment."

"You don't have to walk. I.. I mean, you can stay. If you want to. Won't be bothering me any."

Arching a brow, Edge turned to regard Shawn curiously. "Stay for how long?"

"All night, if you want."

"You sure that's a good idea?"

Shawn scoffed. "Couldn't really make anything worse, could it?"

"Huh. Guess not. Yeah, I guess.. guess we can give it a shot."

"All right, then. Well. I'm gonna go clean up," Shawn announced, rolling away. Edge grabbed his wrist, looking at him with a mischievous grin.

"Did you mean what you said earlier? About my reward if I cleaned up my mess?"

Shawn returned the grin, languidly stretching out on his back. "Only one way to find out."

_Lyrics courtesy of Jim Steinman and used without permission _


	2. Reality

_"I dreamed your dream for you,  
And now your dream is real.  
How can you look at me as if I was just another one of your deals?"_

In the ring, they hated each other.

In the ring, they pounded on each other mercilessly, sometimes connecting a blow too convincingly. There was chemistry between them. There was an angled past to feed off of, and the promise of a dramatic future to work toward. WrestleMania? They'd have to wait and see. In the ring, they exchanged sweat and blood, glares, insults, spears and superkicks.

In bed, they cried and screamed each other's names.

In bed, they fed on each other's mouths, experimented with each other's bodies (so he likes it just _there..._), let go of everything, including themselves. In bed, they'd take the opportunity to soothe the the marks left over from the ring, and to leave new marks that had absolutely nothing to do with feigned hatred and everything to do with pure desire.

Before, once it was calm and they could breathe again, a hasty goodbye was mumbled and one figure would slink away quietly. Always quiet, mustn't let anyone see. Now, they would stumble to the shower, together more often than not. It would be ten minutes of awkward touches, fleeting glances, shy smiles. And then bed. Together. Sometimes they even kissed goodnight.

It worried Shawn. Scared him to death, to be more accurate. When things started, it had been simple. Sometimes awkward, sometimes strange, always intense. But the general premise of the relationship was simple. They were fuck buddies. End of story. They used each other for nothing but their own pleasure and went happily reeling back to their own beds and their own lives when it was through. There were no strings attached. Hell, there were barely any words spoken. Just a silent understanding and a night of escape.

Then came the eye contact. The kissing. The use of real names. The new developments of the relationship were both thrilling and terrible. Were there strings attached now? Shawn didn't know. But he intended to find out.

Most everyone had gone home for the evening. The show had been great. He liked working with Adam in the ring. And when it was tag teams, it was even better. Shawn found it easier to stay focused that way. Watch Randy, watch Christian; less chance of enjoying the physical contact with Adam a little too much and embarrassing himself on television.

He didn't know if Adam was still there, but he hadn't seen him leave, so he decided to give it a shot. Strolling casually into the locker room, he froze in his tracks.

Adam was still here, sure enough, but not alone. Jericho was leaning back against the row of lockers, Adam looming over him. Adam's arm was rested on the lockers above Jericho's head, and they were leaning close to each other. They were just talking; no physical contact that Shawn could see. Therefore, the stab of jealousy that assaulted Shawn shocked and scared him. He guessed he must have gasped upon seeing them, as both men turned their attention to him. He mumbled something about waiting outside, and ducked back into the hall.

He leaned against the wall and closed his eyes. His head was spinning, drowning in unexpected emotion and conflicting voices. For a moment he wondered vaguely if he would faint.

When the hinges of the locker room door creaked, Shawn sprang to attention, doing his best to appear nonchalant. Jericho emerged and sauntered down the corridor. When he passed Shawn, he gave a smug little smirk and winked. Shawn's stomach turned into one cold, giant knot.

As soon as Jericho was out of sight, Shawn burst into the locker room. There were too many things to sort out now. Too many questions, too many answers, too many decisions. And feelings. Yes, definitely too many feelings that didn't make any sense to him. But rather than deal with all those things right now, Shawn did as he usually did: acted on impulse.

He strode to Adam and grabbed the front of his shirt in one hand, pushing him brutally against the lockers. Adam's eyes went wide in confusion, and he held his hands up in a defenseless gesture, searching for something to say and not coming up with a damn thing.

Shawn pulled the taller man forward and then shoved him back once more, just for good measure. He was so close that Adam could feel his breath hot against his face. Normally, Adam would be turned on beyond belief being this close to the man he now dared to consider his lover, but he could see the hurt and anger in Shawn's eyes. Knew because of that that something was seriously wrong.

"What did you tell him?" Shawn growled.

Adam was genuinely lost. "Wh-what.."

"About us! What did you tell him about us, you son of a bitch?!"

This was quickly getting to be too much, Adam decided. He forcefully grabbed Shawn's wrist and ripped his hand away, pushing him backward. Shawn let himself be evicted from Adam's personal space, but still persisted, eyes blazing.

"What did you tell him?!" Shawn's voice rose to almost a scream, and Adam finally graced him with an answer.

"I didn't tell him anything! Jesus... what makes you think I'd go and do something like that?"

Taking in Adam's words, Shawn relaxed slightly, although remembering the look Jericho had given him in the hall, Shawn found it hard to believe.

"He knows something. You should've seen the way he looked at me. He knows." Defeated, Shawn lowered himself into a sitting position on the bench that ran down the middle of the room. He dropped his head into his hands, his hair falling forward and hiding his face from Adam's view.

"So what if he does know?"

Shawn scoffed, the anger and conviction gone from his voice, leaving nothing but emptiness behind.

"Can you imagine what'll happen when this gets out? I'll lose my job, my wife, my kids. Everything I've ever worked for in my life will be gone. And there'll be no way to repent for this. I'll have nothing to look forward to in my life except burning in Hell."

Adam lounged against the lockers, arms crossed over his broad chest, an amused smile on his face. "Don't think you're being just a little over dramatic there, do ya?"

"No," Shawn replied seriously.

"Listen. Even if Chris does know something, he's not gonna say anything about it. He never has before. He'd have no reason to."

Shawn raised his head slowly, locking eyes with Adam. "What do you mean, 'before'?"

"Well, believe it or not Shawn, this isn't the first locker room affair I've been involved in."

The confession took Shawn aback. He gaped open mouthed at Adam. Just when he thought things could not possibly become worse, more complicated.

"There.. there's been others? Besides me?" Shawn cringed as soon as the words left his mouth. He hadn't meant to sound so shocked, so.. hurt.

The tone of his voice made Adam immediately regret his words. He averted his gaze to the floor, nudging an imaginary object across the floor with the toe of his boot. "Yeah, well.. it was a long time ago."

"Who?"

Adam blinked at the question. He paused, trying to find some desperate way of changing the subject. When he couldn't, he just cleared his throat, and decided to do the next best thing. Stall. "You sure you want to know?"

"Yes."

"I don't think you are."

Frustrated, Shawn got to his feet and paced back and forth in front of Adam. He didn't know what to think, definitely didn't know what to say. Fleeting glimpses of Adam with other men kept flashing through his mind, over and over, until he had to stop himself from ripping out his hair in handfuls.

Adam couldn't take it. Not only was he getting dizzy watching Shawn pace the room, he couldn't stand the fact that he'd actually managed to hurt the man's feelings. He'd been fighting off the same feelings for weeks now, but hadn't even begun to think that Shawn would feel the same. Not knowing what else to do, Adam moved forward, grabbing Shawn by the shoulders and holding him still. Shawn didn't struggle; just looked up, face pale.

The kiss Adam delivered was slow and deep, measured. Usually, they only kissed in the heat of lovemaking; all thrusting tongue and clashing teeth. This kiss conveyed tenderness, understanding, love. Or at least Adam hoped that it did. In this kiss, he poured his heart out upon Shawn in waves of emotion, beyond anything that could ever be expressed in mere words.

Shawn tensed at first and then went pliant beneath Adam's lips. He allowed himself to be kissed, eyes closed, willing his body not to react. It seemed as though ages had passed before Adam finally pulled back. A little breathless, he opened his eyes and searched Shawn's face for reaction. He immediately wished he hadn't.

Shawn resembled a lost puppy that had been wandering the streets and looking as though he didn't know where to go and who to trust. He finally turned, and with a last glance back to Adam, exited the locker room.

Adam blinked hard, as if the simple action would bring Shawn back. Of course, it didn't, and the reality of it all made him turn and slam his fist into one of the locker doors, denting it noticeably. The physical pain helped; took his mind away from the emotional sting. Leaning his forehead against the cool steel, he cursed under his breath.

Lyrics courtesy of The Dire Straits and used without permission


	3. Anything For You

_"...I can't do everything,  
But I'd do anything for you."_

Shawn had left the arena and had walked. With no secure destination whatsoever, he'd walked slowly with his head down and his hands shoved in his pockets. Walked until the glow of the sun had faded from the sky and left twilight, the stars starting to blink to life.

He walked and felt sorry for himself. Mourned the fact that he'd lose his family and his job. And Adam. But he pretended he didn't care about Adam right now. It was easier that way.

When he finally raised his head to see where he'd ended up, he found himself walking in the dark, and decided it was probably best to retreat to his hotel room. Easier said than done, considering he wasn't completely familiar with the area. After walking in circles for twenty more minutes and stopping in two run down liquor stores to ask for directions, he finally saw the building looming in the distance.

While in the elevator on the way to his floor, he took his cell phone from his pocket and turned it on. Twenty-three missed calls, it claimed. He almost smiled.

He easily navigated the winding corridor and unlocked his door, stepping into the darkness of the hotel room. The door clicked locked behind him and he leaned against it, heaving a sigh. Now what? He supposed he'd allow himself at least one night to pout. After that, he had no idea.

"I've been calling you."

The disembodied voice in the darkness made him nearly jump out of his skin. It was pitch black and yet Shawn closed his eyes anyway, trying to think of a reply.

"Yes. Twenty-three times," he replied blandly, deciding to stick to the facts.

Silence reigned for almost a full minute; Shawn leaning against the door and Adam seated in a chair by the bed. Neither of them switched on the lights. It was easier, perhaps, when they couldn't see one another.

"How did you get in?" Shawn's voice finally broke the silence.

"The doorman let me in."

"Nice to know we have such great security here."

"Why didn't you pick up your phone?"

Adam's voice sounded closer than before, and finally Shawn reached out blindly, flipping the switch on the wall. Light flooded the room and he found Adam to be standing a few feet from him, arms crossed defensively. Eye contact was made and Shawn forced himself to keep it, resisting the urge to look away.

"I forgot it wasn't on."

"You're lying."

Shawn finally shook his head and pushed away from the door, moving past Adam and to the bed. Adam made no move to touch or stop him, though he did turn, keeping his eyes on the other man.

"Why are you being like this? I don't understand why you're so pissed off."

"I don't expect you to." Shawn sat down on the bed, looking sternly at Adam. He folded his hands in his lap and squeezed his fingers together, trying to stop them from shaking.

"Care to explain it to me?"

"Not really."

Adam gritted his teeth, the noise almost audible in the otherwise silent room. He straightened his back and flexed his arms beneath the sleeves of his t-shirt. Shawn could tell he was getting frustrated and angry, and took a bit of selfish pride in it. At least he wasn't the only one suffering.

"What, you're mad because I'm not a virgin? Because I didn't save myself for the Heartbreak Kid? Because I'm not like some sixteen-year-old girl with posters of you all over her bedroom, masturbating to your Playgirl spread? Well, fucking live with it, Shawn. I hate to burst the bubble you've been living in for twenty years, but the world does not revolve around you."

Shawn nearly bounced off the bed, coming at Adam and stopping a mere few inches from him. His hands were balled into fists and he fought to keep his temper under control. He didn't speak until he was relatively sure he wouldn't scream, but the words were hostile, holding a dangerous undertone.

"Why are you here, Adam? Why don't you just go and leave me alone?"

"Why?! What changed all of a sudden?! You used to want to spend every night together, and now you're kicking me out. I don't get it, Shawn! Tell me what I can do to make this better. Please."

Shawn blinked. He'd expected anger to be answered with anger.. but now Adam was pleading with him. Not only with his words and his voice, but also with his eyes. Taking a single step backward, Shawn easily relaxed. It was time to be honest, he concluded; both with Adam and with himself.

"I don't know, okay? I don't have a clue what I'm doing here. What we're doing. And it.. it scares me, all right? It's hard to understand. To know how to act around you, what to say. I never know if we're still friends, if.. if we're more than that, or what. I just don't know anything anymore. And working with you.. I can't even tell you how terrified I am of that. Of going out in that ring and looking at you and touching you, and everybody in that audience seeing right fucking through me. I feel like somehow they'll know what I'm thinking. That while I'm beating the living shit out of you, I can still hear the way you screamed for me as I fucked you into the mattress the night before!"

When Shawn had finished his monologue, Adam stood before him, dumbfounded. Shawn was flushed and breathing a bit heavier than normal, his body having reacted to the long winded speech and the flood of emotion pumping through his veins.

He didn't have time to react when Adam grabbed his shoulders and spun them both around, shoving Shawn backward against the wall. Didn't have time to take a breath as the wind was knocked from his body, before Adam was crushed against him, pinning him to the wall and kissing him for all he was worth. Definitely didn't have a choice other than to kiss Adam back once the shock had worn off, giving in to the moment and going at Adam's mouth like a starving man, biting his lips and sucking greedily at his tongue.

Shawn, coming to his senses just a tad, pushed unconvincingly at Adam's shoulders and broke the kiss.

"We need to talk about this," he reasoned breathlessly, without much effort at convincing the man that was glued to him, now kissing along his neck and shoulder. Shawn nearly yelped when Adam ripped his shirt clean in half down the middle, and trailed those kisses down Shawn's chest. When finally Adam was on his knees, he looked up to Shawn with a grin and eyes shining with palpable lust.

"You go ahead and talk, Shawn. I'm listening, I promise," Adam replied, popping open the button of Shawn's jeans and quickly working the zipper down.

Shawn thought that Adam was lying and felt himself suddenly stop caring when his jeans and boxers were pulled to his ankles. He tried to bite back a groan at the feeling of the strong hand wrapping around his erection, and couldn't manage.

"What was that? Didn't quite catch it," Adam noted cheekily, sweeping his tongue over the tip of Shawn's cock and nodding once in satisfaction when the noise came again, this time much louder.

"Would you shut up, please?"

"Shut up? I thought you wanted to talk. You just can't make up your mind, can you? You're like a fucking woman, Shawn. Always changing your mind, and – "

Adam's words were abruptly cut off when Shawn grabbed two fistfuls of his hair and pulled his head forward. He parted his lips obligingly and let Shawn's cock slide into his mouth, Shawn becoming ever grateful for the wall behind him. It was the only thing holding him up right now, his knees trembling madly, much like the rest of his body.

If there was one thing that Shawn had learned from his time spent with Adam, it was that the boy was born to suck cock. And he learned quickly; knew about that spot a couple of inches down from the head that would make Shawn go liquid if Adam rubbed his tongue against it just so. Knew how much Shawn loved when Adam would rub his thighs as he was sucking him off, even though Shawn had never said anything about it. It basically came down to the fact that Adam paid attention to what pleased Shawn and then went to all lengths to make it happen. Shawn smiled to himself at the realization.

He shook the hair out of his face and looked down, watching in rapture as that pretty mouth slid up and down his cock, his skin glistening with saliva and precum. Locked eyes with Adam who had been watching him the entire time, judging his facial expressions and movements of his body.

Shawn kept his hands in Adam's hair but released the force of the hold, just letting his fingers rest within the silky strands. Adam's hands were running over every inch of skin that they could reach: Shawn's inner and outer thighs, stomach, ass. Fingers teased, dipping mischievously between Shawn's cheeks and lingering there for agonizing moments before sliding away again.

Making an attempt to speak, Shawn had to clear his throat several times before he was able to make any sound come out.

"You like doing this, don't you?" he rasped.

Adam pulled back just slightly, letting his tongue trace every vein and ridge of Shawn's cock before and after replying. "I'd do it all the time if I could."

Bringing his right hand up to his face, and purposefully watching Shawn's expression, Adam began licking and sucking at his own index finger, slicking it up. Knowing that Adam now planned to take things up a notch, Shawn swallowed the lump in his throat. At the questioning look he received from his lover, he just nodded in silent consent.

"Close your eyes, then. I want you to feel, not see," Adam commanded, and Shawn easily complied. He felt Adam's hot breath against his cock, felt his hands sliding along his body once more. All at once, Adam's mouth was on his cock again, taking him deep. And before he had time to recover from that sensation, the slicked finger was probing at his entrance, sliding in to the first knuckle.

Shawn could do nothing but gasp raggedly and groan with every exhale, body inherently straining toward Adam, not sure whether to arch forward or push back. Eventually they settled into a nice steady rocking motion, Adam's finger sinking deeper until it grazed that spot, and Shawn nearly screamed with the intensity of it all.

He lost his senses for a moment, ramming himself a little harder than intended toward Adam's mouth. Adam was surprised but compliant, stretching to accommodate all of Shawn that he could. He could tell that his lover was close; could hear nothing but their own mingled breathing and Shawn's constant mantra of "Oh, my god. Oh, my god."

When he knew he couldn't stand another second of it, Shawn licked his lips and forced his voice to work, at least alert enough to communicate a few desperate words.

"Oh, god. Oh, god, Adam. I'm coming. I'm coming, oh, god!"

Using a move that took quite a bit of practice, Adam swallowed over the head of Shawn's cock, the contraction of the muscles there more than enough to send Shawn spiraling into ecstasy. He clawed at the back of Adam's head as he came down his throat, Adam finally pulling back to let the last couple of shots land across his cheeks and mouth.

He licked and kissed at Shawn's softening cock as Shawn slowly came down from orgasm, shuddering almost violently when Adam slid his finger free. Shawn's legs were not nearly enough to hold him up anymore and he allowed himself to slide down the wall, bringing him to a half-sitting position in front of the still kneeling Adam.

In his mind, Shawn was going over all the delightful things he would do to Adam as soon as he gained an ounce of strength back. Sure, he'd had his doubts; there'd been problems, but what had just happened was more than enough to make him fairly sure that he was doing the right thing. All right, maybe not the right thing. But something that he could happily live with, at least.

Adam, however, had other plans. He placed a hand on each of Shawn's shoulders and moved in close; his come-covered mouth touching the outer shell of Shawn's ear as he whispered huskily.

"I just had to make you feel good again, one last time. I know you have a lot going for you in your life, and I'm not gonna be the one to fuck that up. You talk about your career, your family.. well, the point is, I would do anything for you. Anything for you, Shawn. Including walking away, if that's what needs to be done. I hope you get everything straightened out. And I guess I'll see you around."

Quick as a cat, Adam unfolded his lean body and got to his feet, taking long strides to the door. Shawn was struck silent, eyes wide at the words he couldn't believe he was hearing. He couldn't talk, couldn't so much as breathe as Adam stood and began walking away. The last desperate attempt was to reach a hand out, grasping at Adam's ankle and missing by mere inches.

He heard the door open, close, and knew he was alone.

Lyrics courtesy of The Dire Straits and used without permission


	4. Nothing Else Matters

_"...you've healed up my wounds  
I've tasted your tears  
You spilled out your heart  
So I let out my fears.."_

It seemed like full hours had passed as he sat there against the wall, trying to remember how to breathe. He was having horrible flashbacks of childhood nightmares where the monster was right behind you, and no matter how hard you tried, you simply could not will your body to move.

When he finally was able to make his muscles cooperate, nothing was going fast enough. It all seemed like slow motion. Slow motion as he wobbled to his feet and got his jeans fastened, tore the tatters of his shirt from his torso. When he tried to run, with the futile hope that maybe Adam was still in the building, it felt like he had fifty pound weights tied to each ankle.

He burst through the door of the hotel room and set his sights on the elevator. However, before he could start his sprint down the hallway, he caught sight of the form of the man he'd be sprinting after.

Adam was standing outside and to the left of Shawn's door, wiping his mouth on the sleeve of his shirt. He looked up in genuine surprise as Shawn stood facing him, although neither one of them could think of anything to say.

"I don't want you to go," Shawn finally admitted.

When Adam had the nerve to roll his eyes, Shawn almost retreated back into his room to make himself forget the whole thing.

"You don't know what you want, do you? First you won't speak to me because you find out I've been with other men, then you're shoving your cock down my throat and – "

Shawn's eyes widened in horror at the volume of Adam's voice. His eyes darted around the hallway, paranoid.

"Shut up! Do you have to be so damned loud about it?!" Shawn whispered, frantically.

"Yes! Yes, I do, because I don't care! I don't care who knows, Shawn, I don't. I'm not embarrassed of you or of what we have."

As if to prove that point, Adam moved out into the middle of the hallway, and began yelling.

"Hey! Hey, everyone who gives a damn! I'm fucking Shawn Michaels! Yes, you heard right! I'm fucking Shawn –"

Shawn's face went absolutely crimson and he dived at Adam, nearly tackling him to the ground. He plastered his hand over Adam's mouth and dragged him back into the room, slamming the door shut and locked. Only then did he release Adam, hissing angrily.

"What in the name of God is wrong with you, Adam?!"

"I think I'm in love with you."

Shawn staggered back as if he'd been hit by a physical blow. If he'd been thinking about it, he probably would have thought he looked quite comical at that moment; his eyes as wide as saucers, mouth hanging open. Adam might have laughed if he'd been looking, but he wasn't. His head was hung downward and he was staring at the carpet, all mirth gone away suddenly.

"Say it again."

Adam swallowed the nervous lump in his throat. "I'm in love with you."

"I don't understand. I just.. I don't get it, if you're in love with me, then why did you.. do what you did, and then leave?"

Adam reached up and ran both hands through his hair, pushing it back from his face as he looked up at Shawn. All the barriers were down now, walls broken away, and Shawn could see the fear and terrible sadness in his lover's eyes.

"Because I know you don't feel the same way. Can't feel the same way. It wouldn't be right, not for somebody like you. It'd never work."

"We'll make it work."

It was Adam's turn to look absolutely stricken, but Shawn quickly moved to him. He placed both hands on Adam's face, cradling it gently, intently watching Adam's eyes as he whispered to him.

"I don't know who I was trying to kid. I don't want to have to live without you. I miss you if we're apart for more than ten minutes. I know there's so many reasons that this just seems insane, but.. but maybe we can make it work if we really try. I mean –"

"Okay."

"No, listen. I mean, we couldn't go public with it, definitely not now and maybe not ever, and –"

"Okay."

"— and we'd have to work something out where –"

"Okay, Shawn, okay! I don't care, whatever you want. Whatever it takes to be with you, I'll do it. I can do it, I'll prove it to you."

"I believe you." With that, Shawn leaned in and graced Adam's lips with his own. The kiss was slow and passionate, and whole-heartedly returned by its receiver. It didn't take long at all before they were securely wrapped in each other's arms and exchanging moans, tripping over their own feet to make it to bed.

With a sweep of his foot, Shawn took Adam's legs out from beneath him, letting Adam fall to the bed with a yelp. Shawn was on top of him in a heartbeat, sliding his hands beneath his shirt and caressing his chest and stomach. With his lips against Adam's ear, he breathed quiet words, trying his hardest to keep the pleading tone hidden.

"You won't leave me again, will you? After this? You'll stay tonight, promise?"

Adam squirmed impatiently beneath Shawn's wandering touches, finally pulling his own shirt off to allow his lover better access. He nodded quickly, turning his head to kiss at Shawn's cheek and ear, nuzzling at his hair.

"I'll stay. I promise."

Finally hearing those words leave Adam's mouth, Shawn let go of all the self-control he'd had left, causing Adam to do the same. Their mouths clashed bruisingly, all four hands flying, tearing off shoes and clothing. When finally they were naked, they slowed the pace a little, taking the time to touch and kiss, feeling bare skin against bare skin.

Shawn started a wet trail of suckling kisses down the center of Adam's torso, working his way farther downward. Adam grinned to himself and squirmed beneath the attention and the feel of Shawn's hair tickling his skin. Determined to reciprocate Adam's favor from earlier, Shawn didn't stop until he was kneeling between Adam's spread legs. He glanced up with a smirk before letting his tongue emerge, teasingly dragging the tip all the way up Adam's length, and then slowly back down again.

Adam inhaled sharply at the feeling, hands going down to push Shawn's hair aside. He raised his head from the mattress; watching as Shawn continued his slow ministrations, tongue dancing in random patterns against the overly sensitized skin. He continued these actions until Adam was reduced to a trembling mess, only then working his way back up the taut body beneath him, and placing a kiss to his lover's lips.

Arching upward, Adam returned the kiss eagerly, rubbing his hips into Shawn's. And as if his straining body wasn't enough clue as to what he was craving, he groaned a single word into Shawn's mouth.

"Please."

While still thoroughly kissing Adam, Shawn reached out blindly to the bedside table, yanking open the drawer. He dug around until his hand grasped the desired tube, smiling inwardly when he thought of how it had become simple habit whenever they arrived at a new hotel: make sure there was lube within reaching distance of the bed.

Pulling back from the kiss and inhaling deeply, Shawn quickly reversed their positions. Rolling onto his back and pulling a surprised Adam between his legs, he offered the lube. Adam blinked in confusion at the reversal, but at Shawn's determined expression, he reached out and tentatively accepted the offering, twisting the cap off.

A mixture of extreme excitement and slight nervousness was evident as Adam coated his fingers with the slick substance. He'd topped Shawn only once before, and though the older man seemed to enjoy it, for some reason it just seemed more natural if Shawn was the one doing the fucking. Adam slowly reached down, placing the tip of his index finger against Shawn's opening and pushing slowly. It slid inside easily and Shawn gasped, arching his hips into the sensation.

In this position, he couldn't help but tell how badly Adam's hands were shaking. He offered a reassuring smile and words of encouragement, broken once by a groan as Adam's finger twisted inside him just so.

"Relax, it's all right. I want this.. mm.. trust me."

Nodding, Adam slipped a second finger in, the apprehension fading from his mind as he heard Shawn's satisfied moan. 'Trust me,' Shawn had said, and Adam realized that's what this was all about. Trust. And obviously Shawn trusted him very much, to allow himself to be in such a vulnerable position. It was an encouraging thought.

The third finger was slightly more difficult, but Shawn willed himself to relax, and Adam was able to work it in. He held still at first, letting Shawn get used to the feeling, before very slowly starting to pump them, working against that tight muscle and coaxing it to loosen. After about a minute of this, Shawn was nearly keening; hips raised off the bed, arching into Adam's hand.

Adam grinned at the power he had at that moment. He stopped the movement of his fingers, leaving them buried deep inside Shawn as he spoke.

"Are you ready?"

"Yes!" came the sharp, desperate reply. Adam couldn't help but chuckle. Nevertheless, he more than eagerly complied. Pulling his fingers free, he quickly coated his impossibly hard cock with the lube, placing the tip against Shawn's hole. When the head of his cock eased inside, both men let out a slow, drawn out moan.

Adam had been planning on taking it slow and easy, but Shawn had been driven to the point of desperation and would have no such thing. He angled his hips and thrust himself against Adam, crying out when Adam's cock brushed his sweet spot.

The actions Shawn took sent Adam into a frenzy. He grabbed Shawn by the hips and began pounding into him mercilessly, pulling his willing body into every movement. Shawn grasped the blankets and held on so tightly his knuckles were white with the strain. The room was filled with the sounds of their cries, the wet smack of skin against skin, and Shawn's head making contact with the headboard every time Adam slammed into him. He'd have a bitch of a headache before this was over, he was sure. But God, it was worth it.

Prying one hand from the covers, Shawn fisted his own cock, jerking himself off with short, quick movements that he kept in sync with Adam's thrusts. Adam could feel his lover tighten more with each passing moment, knew that he was getting close. Still holding Shawn's hips, Adam moved back, almost pulling out completely. Shawn elicited a strangled cry of protest before Adam shoved inside him brutally, the action more than enough to trigger climax in both men; Adam holding onto Shawn and Shawn holding onto the sheets as they sobbed out their release.

They rode the waves of orgasm for as long as they could, savoring the moment. After what seemed like several minutes, Adam pulled out, letting his spent body collapse atop his lover. Shawn grunted at the body suddenly crushing him, then chuckled breathlessly, wrapping strong arms around Adam and holding him tight.

Finding that catching your breath was near impossible with a two hundred and fifty pound weight on your chest, Shawn rolled them both onto their sides. He brushed Adam's sweat-soaked locks away from his face, and planted a kiss on his forehead. Adam opened his eyes and smiled.

"Thank you for that. It was incredible, Shawn."

"I know. I don't know how we're gonna do this, Adam, but—"

"No, no. Hush. Don't do that now. Just stop worrying, for one fucking night. Please. We'll figure things out later. For now, let's just go to sleep."

Not wanting to ruin the afterglow, Shawn nodded and cuddled closer to Adam, closing his eyes. He sighed, feeling Adam's fingers working through his hair, petting him and coaxing him toward sleep. He still worried; didn't know what tomorrow would bring or how they'd manage this. But Adam was right. There was no point in worrying. They would work it out.

He heard Adam's contented sigh and knew that nothing else mattered.

Lyrics courtesy of Poison and used without permission


	5. You Can't Go Home Again

_"...Once upon a time I was falling in love  
But now I'm only falling apart..."_

Shawn stopped what he was doing when the breathless request hit his ears. He raised his head from Adam's neck, licking his stubble burned lips, and frowning down at his lover.

"You've never asked me to do that before."

Adam shrugged in an almost nonchalant manner. "I'm asking you now."

"Why?"

"Just do it, Shawn. Please? For me?"

Sighing as he contemplated the thought, Shawn shook his head. He knew what this was all about, why Adam would make such a demand now, the night before he was leaving to visit home. It bothered him, but he understood the best that he could. He looked down into Adam's pleading eyes and dreaded tomorrow. The least he could do was to try and make it good tonight.

Doing his absolute best to fight off the pang of guilt that had settled in his stomach, Shawn worked his wedding ring from his finger and reached over, placing it gingerly on the nightstand.

"Better?"

"Yes," Adam whispered. "Now, where were we?"

Not able to force a smile, Shawn leaned down and claimed Adam's lips in a kiss as he slid inside him. He moved Adam's arms above his head, supporting his own weight and pinning Adam's wrists against the mattress with his right hand. With his left, he teased and stroked along Adam's chest and stomach, letting him feel the absence of the ring.

When he started moving, he used slow, deep thrusts that coaxed low groans from his own lips and high, keening cries from Adam's. Shawn kept up the slow, steady pace, not wanting this to end too quickly. He knew it would be the last time for quite a while. He'd stop completely whenever he felt that either of them was getting too close, taking a moment to calm down and simply kiss and touch the man beneath him.

After what seemed to be hours of this treatment, Adam wrapped his legs around Shawn's waist and pulled him in harder, gasping out a few ragged words.

"Faster.. oh, Shawn.. oh, I'm so close. Make me come, Shawn, please."

With his lover begging and arching under him, Shawn couldn't resist. He started pounding into him with hard, fast movements, using his newly unadorned left hand to wrap around Adam's impossibly hard cock. He stroked him with short, quick flicks of his wrist until Adam was writhing on the bed, screaming as he came all over his own stomach and Shawn's hand.

Shawn held himself back while Adam was in the throes of climax, eyes locked on his lover, watching his facial expressions and movements of his body. God, he was beautiful. When Adam finally opened his eyes, it was his look that sent Shawn hurtling over the edge. The look of combined love and lust, of pure adoration. Shawn buried his face in the crook of Adam's neck and sobbed dryly as orgasm flooded into him, his breath hitching and the rhythm of his body faltering as he released deep inside Adam.

When he was able to move again, Shawn drug himself off of Adam and collapsed beside him on the bed. He wrapped his arms around Adam and held him tightly, nuzzling against his cheek and whispering in his ear.

"Shower?"

Adam shook his head. "In the morning. Too tired."

Nodding, Shawn spooned closer against the warm body beside him and tried not to think about morning.

Adam was leaning against the wall, shoulders slouched, arms crossed over his broad chest. His icy glare was fixed on Shawn and the suitcase that he was packing. Shawn was doing his best to ignore the murderous looks he was getting, keeping his eyes cast downward as he folded his clothes and set them in the bag. He was doing a good job of it until Adam spoke.

"Why are you doing this?"

Shawn paused in his task, mentally counting ten. They'd been over this and over this in the past few weeks, and the argument was always the same.

"You already know why I'm doing this. Please don't start."

"No. No, I don't know. I don't get it, Shawn."

Six. Seven. Eight. Shawn took a slow, measured breath and let it out. "I need to see my kids."

"Bring them here."

"How would I explain that one, hmm?"

"I don't care how. You could do it."

Closing his eyes briefly and praying for strength, Shawn then moved to Adam. He reached up and placed both hands on Adam's face, cradling it gently and whispering.

"This is hard enough as it is. Please, _please_ don't do this to me."

"_Me?_ Do something to _you_? You're the one fucking leaving."

"I'll be back."

"You're going to sleep with her, aren't you?"

"We share the same bed, you know that."

"That's not what I meant."

"She's my wife, Adam. Please try to understand."

Hearing those words, Adam reached up and smacked the hands away from his face, roughly pushing past Shawn and plopping down on the edge of the bed. He placed his head in his hands, fingers tangling in his own hair. Shawn moved to him, but when Adam shied away, he just shook his head and zipped up the suitcase. Carrying the luggage to the door and setting it down, he turned to look back at Adam, sighing at the anguished picture that he made; sitting there on the bed, practically tearing out his own hair.

"I don't want to have to leave you like this. What can I do to make it better?"

"Stay."

"I can't stay."

"Then get the fuck out, already! What the fuck are you waiting for, huh?! Oh, I know." Getting to his feet, Adam snatched up the ring that still sat on the bedside table, hurling it at Shawn with all his might. It hit Shawn in the chest and then tumbled to the floor. Shawn bent to retrieve it, sliding it back in its place and looking to Adam sadly.

"There, you have your little whore's ring. You can go now."

"There's no need to talk about her like that," Shawn stated quietly. "She's never done anything to you. We're the ones wronging her."

"GET OUT!"

Shawn jumped at the sudden outburst, blinking back tears as he collected his luggage and quickly moved out the door, closing it gently behind him. He made it all the way down the hall and into the elevator before the tears came, spilling hot down his cheeks. He wiped at them in frustration, biting down hard on his lower lip to keep it from trembling. When the doors opened, he steeled himself and walked stiffly out to the sidewalk, hailing a cab.

He was doing the right thing, he told himself. No matter how badly it made him feel. Although he felt as if his heart had just been ripped still beating from his chest... he was doing the right thing.

He needed to believe that, or he'd never forgive himself. Picturing Adam alone and crying back in the room made him sure that he'd never forgive himself, anyway.

Lyrics courtesy of Judas Priest and used without permission 


	6. Apology

_"...In this world we're livin' in  
We have our share of sorrow  
Answer now is don't give in  
Aim for a new tomorrow..." _

Adam had let Shawn walk out of the hotel room, assuming that he had subsequently walked out of his life. He knew that by all rights, he should have never asked Shawn to stay. Shawn was leaving to go to his rightful place, to once again fulfill his position of husband and father. To take care of his family, the way he rarely had a chance to while they were on the road. He knew that he was of no comparison to these people that Shawn had built his foundation with. He knew that Shawn truly belonged to them, and not to him, as he would have liked.

But he was selfish and he didn't want to let go. Deep in his heart, he knew that it wouldn't do any good, but he tried anyway. He tried to reason with Shawn, to show him other alternatives that would allow him to see his children without him having to leave. When that didn't work, he'd desperately begged for Shawn to stay. And when that didn't work, he cried and screamed and kicked Shawn out, knowing that he would've left, anyway.

Shawn's vacation was scheduled for four weeks, but he'd bargained for an extra few days. Adam was convinced that it was because Shawn simply didn't want to see him.

They talked on the phone a precious five times while Shawn was away. Adam had counted. The conversations were short and strained; neither of them knew exactly what to say about anything. It was the polite, obligatory talks that you had with old high school buddies you haven't seen in ages, or the casual meet-in-the-hallways chitchat you held with coworkers on your fifteen minute breaks. It was anything but the talk two people who loved each other shared in the deep hours of the night.

And so, Adam had come to the conclusion that Shawn didn't love him, had never really loved him like he said he did. And during the month that Shawn had been away, Adam had practiced letting go.

But he knew he couldn't do that alone. And so he sought assistance, and who better to help bring you into the future than someone from your past?

He'd fucked Chris and let Chris fuck him, and if he closed his eyes and kept his hands in just the right places, he could almost pretend it was Shawn. And when he realized pretending it was Shawn probably wasn't helping him get over Shawn, it morphed into getting back at Shawn. If Shawn was going to sleep with someone else, then so was he.

Chris was gorgeous and good in bed, and didn't care if Adam loved him or not. Hell, he didn't care if Adam really _wanted_ him or not. Adam nearly cried one night when Chris looked down at him, and told him that he could call Shawn's name if he wanted to. Said that it wouldn't bother him any, that he knew where he stood.

Chris was wonderful, but Chris wasn't Shawn. He told Chris that this wouldn't go on very long. He just needed some help with things right now and that maybe everything would change again when Shawn came back. Chris shrugged gracefully and kissed his lips and told him that he'd always be there for him.

When he wasn't with Chris, Adam concentrated on work and not being lonely. Late at night, he'd sit up in generic hotel rooms and watch old black and white movies and try to sleep. He'd settled himself into a wonderfully dull, emotionless existence that he clung to wholeheartedly. Shawn didn't love him, and so he refused to love Shawn. It was that simple.

Until Shawn came back.

Shawn was happy when he was with Rebecca and the children. He loved them all dearly and would easily give his life for them. He missed them while he was away. When he was around them, he was content and comfortable. But he wasn't whole. There was something, someone missing.

He had strange fantasies about Adam coming to live with them and them all existing together happily. He imagined Becca's reaction if he told her he'd fallen hopelessly in love with a man. He wondered how long it would take her to get the papers drawn up and how much alimony she'd ask for. He thought up hypothetical situations and dozens more questions that he didn't really want to know the answers to.

And while these tormenting thoughts went through his head, he plastered on a smile and kissed his wife and his kids and swore he would call Adam later, and that they'd talk. Really talk. But something always came up, and he hardly ever got the chance.

He thought about Adam while he was making love to Rebecca, and it seemed that the harder he tried to forget that night, the more insistent the memory became. 'Take your ring off,' Adam had pleaded. 'Be mine tonight.' And he had. He'd felt horrible for it, but he'd done it anyway. And now, lying here in pleasure with his wife, he felt horrible all over again. He'd somehow managed to betray them both. No matter what, he couldn't do anything right.

He didn't want to leave home, and he didn't want to stay. He didn't want to see Adam, but he felt like he was slowly deteriorating every second that they had to be apart. He consoled sobbing children and a gracefully tearful wife, and had gotten back on the plane to catch up with work's latest destination. He didn't know what he'd say when he was reunited with Adam, but he supposed he'd figure that out when he got there.

Shawn sauntered right in like he owned the place. He didn't pay any attention whatsoever to the shocked man sitting on the bed. He just put down his suitcase and opened it and started to unpack his stuff. He didn't even look upward until Adam cleared his throat purposefully. Adam's heart was hammering in his chest and his mouth had gone dry simply at the sight of his lover. _Ex-lover_, he reminded himself bitterly. But he forced himself to speak steadily.

"I think you've got the wrong room. This one's taken."

Shawn looked like he'd been slapped in the face.

"Wh-what do you mean?"

"I mean, why are you unpacking here?"

"We.. we always share a room."

Adam frowned and stood from the bed, utterly confused about Shawn's casual demeanor.

"That was before you left me for a month and a half."

"Are you still stuck on that? You know I didn't have a choice. But I'm back now, and everything's fine. So, c'mere, darlin', and kiss me hello."

Adam moved to where Shawn was standing and Shawn's face lit up. That was much easier than he'd thought. He held out his arms and closed his eyes, and was on the floor before he could comprehend what had happened.

It took a second or two for the pain in his jaw to register, along with the fact that he was sprawled against the door looking up at Adam's closed fist.

"Everything is _not_ fine," Adam growled, seizing his anger foremost so the tears and betrayal would have to take a backseat. He'd embarrassed himself enough with his crying and pleading. "If you think you can just walk all over me like this, you've got another thing coming. I'm not gonna sit here like some god damned cheap piece of ass, waiting for you to get done with what really matters so you can come back and fuck me some more! Now get up, get your shit, and get out!"

Before Shawn could begin to think of a proper reply, Adam had retreated into the bathroom, dramatically slammed the door, and locked it behind him. Shawn blinked rapidly, trying to piece together exactly what had taken place. He'd been struck and yelled at by someone he loved whole-heartedly, all in the span of two minutes, and none of it would sink in. All he could do was sit helplessly on the floor and rub his swelling face, frantically trying to decide what to do now.

Anger was beginning to set in as Shawn pulled himself to his feet. How dare Adam be so selfish? How could he simply refuse to understand that Shawn had a family, and obligations? He strode to the bathroom door and pounded on it, ignoring the pain that came with speaking.

"Adam, open the door."

"FUCK YOU!"

"Listen, I'm tired of this! We need to talk, all right? Just open the door and we'll get it sorted out."

"Go fuck yourself, Michaels. I'm not interested in anything you have to say."

"Open the damn door or I'm kickin' it in!"

Silence.

Making good on his threat, Shawn took a couple of steps back and then gave the bathroom door its own special rendition of Sweet Chin Music. The lock was flimsy and the door busted open easily, revealing a shocked and very pissed off Adam.

"You're paying for that!" he shrieked, eyes wide. He moved to get past Shawn, but Shawn grabbed him and pressed him to the wall. He struggled and cursed and Shawn just let himself be smacked, let his hair be pulled, let himself be called every name in the book. He grabbed at Adam's flailing wrists and finally pinned them immobile. Adam was panting with the effort of trying to escape, finally giving up and glaring at Shawn as if a look alone would make him retreat. No such luck.

"Listen to me for one second! That's all I ask!"

"There's nothing to say, Shawn! It's fucking over, just let it go! I don't know why you can't understand that it's –"

"I'm sorry. Okay? I'm sorry."

Adam stopped mid-sentence and looked suspiciously at Shawn. Throughout this entire ordeal, during all the arguments and all the strained phone calls, Shawn had never apologized. Not once.

Sensing that perhaps he was making some progress, Shawn warily released Adam's wrists, and took a single step back. He watched Adam's eyes sincerely as he continued to speak.

"You're important to me, Adam, and I know I haven't been treating you that way. I had to go home, I'm still sticking by that. But I should've listened to you better when you were trying to tell me how you felt. And I'm sorry. I should have made more time for you while I was gone, I should've called you more often, I know. I thought about you every day and I missed you so much. When we first started all this, you said you'd do anything for me. Remember that? So, do this for me. Please forgive me. I'm sorry."

This time when Shawn reached out, Adam didn't shy away. He closed his eyes and leaned into the touch when Shawn's fingertips brushed down his cheek. Kissed lightly at the pad of Shawn's thumb as it graced across his lips.

Adam had a firm control on his emotions, until he realized what he'd done. His eyes snapped open and he reached his own hand out, cupping the side of Shawn's face that he'd turned red and purple. Tears welled to his eyes, his lower lip shaking.

"Oh, god, Shawn. I'm sorry. I didn't mean to. I wasn't thinking."

Shawn just shook his head and pulled Adam into a tight embrace, one that was readily returned. They clung to each other desperately, hands and lips reclaiming forgotten territory. Sometimes stray teeth or fingernails would go unchecked, bringing pain, but it only reminded them that what was happening now was real.

It had been too long since they'd felt each other, and the desperation to do so was unbearable. Adam hadn't even wanted to take the time to move to bed; he'd suggested the shower or atop the sink counter, but Shawn insisted there would be plenty of time for that later. That this time, after so long, he wanted it to be slow, long, and comfortable.

He'd carried Adam to bed like a man would deliver his new bride over the threshold, and Adam had giggled happily the entire way. They languidly stretched on the bed, kissing and touching and teasing each other and themselves. Shawn rolled on top and tugged Adam's shirt off, fingers unfastening his pants. Once he had his lover naked beneath him, Shawn ran his hands slowly along the perfect body, fingers trembling with excitement and restraint.

But then the realization had dawned on him that the body below him was not perfect. Was less perfect than it had been when Shawn had left, as a matter of fact. And it was all due to the small bluish mark that marred Adam's hipbone. Shawn wasn't sure exactly what it was and how it came to be on his lover, but it appeared to be some sort of bruise. Perhaps a bite, even. Yes. If you looked closely, Shawn observed, you could see the faint teeth marks.

Shawn's hands froze, his eyes glued to the offending mark. Adam, brought from his lust-clouded reverie, opened his eyes to look upon his lover. He frowned upon seeing such a horrified expression, looking down to see just what Shawn was gawking at. When he saw it, it took a moment to realize what it was. He hadn't realized Chris had left such a horrid thing behind. And now look what it was doing to the moment they'd somehow managed to resurrect.

Adam felt a wave of dreadful nausea wash through him and he sat up quickly, recoiling from Shawn. Shawn, moving dream-like slow, stood from the bed. He was talking in monotone, but since he never paused to allow Adam to answer, Adam guessed he was just talking to himself.

"This is what I get, huh? This is my punishment for what I've done. I've committed adultery and betrayed people I love, and this is what comes of it. It's my own damned fault. I should've known. I should've known."

He repeated this as he walked out the door, leaving behind his personal belongings, his petrified lover, and all the shattered pieces of his heart.

Lyrics courtesy of Judas Priest and used without permission


End file.
